Reflections of My Life

I haven't been out for a while days. Ok in fact I have been living a sort of recluse life for almost a year now. God I don't want to be a hermit. After one year of being jobless, I feel like I need a break or rather I don't need the break now. Looking back at last year this is exactly what I want. To go back to my hometown and  be able to have much time to ponder what I really what to do in life. This is why I can somehow relate to Eat Pray Love. 

Now I realized I just want a new life, new environment, new hobby and a new job but everything is not so easy. I'm not complaining though coz it's my own doing.I love my life and I just have to go on with what I can do. Writing has been my saving grace for now. I love to write. And I also love to travel. 

In the society where discrimination in age, status and gender is rampant not to mention the economic poverty I couldn't help but wonder how could we be able to start a new life at middle aged without being scrutinize ? How I wish we are in an open-minded, discrimination-free and peace-loving society where everyone is welcome to do his own thing regardless of his age, gender or financial status for as long as he doesn't break the law or hurt anybody.

I had a friend who is in her mid-thirties and single. She'd been on the receiving end of other people's insensitive remark a few times. I feel for her every time other people especially if it is a woman who is not even close to any of us feel free to comment or worse give an unsolicited advise as if there is something wrong about her that is why she is not yet married until now. What an insensitive damn bitch. I wish all people could stop being judgmental to others or at least just shut up and mind your own business.

I have also been on the receiving end a few times. By the time I reached 25 plus years old, I often heard " So you are 26, 27, 28 and not yet married?". I can feel the heat in my neck. Saying it as if there is something wrong with me is downright demeaning. But the worst comment I've received was when someone bluntly told me that had she been me she would be devastated because I am not married and have no child at 29..She was really that rude. I was like " Really ? Don't be co'z I never ever felt that something is lacking in my life because I'm single at 29! ( well I was then). Knowing her being married and impregnated at 19, I will never stoop down to her level.

I got married just last year and not because of anybody's pressure or demeaning comment but because of love and commitment. Married or not, childless or not, jobless or not, stupid choices or none however other people box me in I am still me and I will forever cherish being me despite my being imperfect.